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Time Honoured Traditions Supporting Modern Men

Do modern men need specialised support? We talk to the founder and facilitator of a local mens group and find out more.

Every fourth Tuesday, in a simple suburban yard in the present day metropolis of Melbourne, a circle of guys, fly in the face of the ill-famed Melbourne weather to sit around a fire and get in on in the 'Mens Fire Circle'. At the last meeting, the Mens Fire-Circle honored its 4th year, and in recognition of the landmark, I met with the organizer and originator of the Mens Fire Circle, David Mollet, to discover a bit more around what the group does and why it originated in the first place.

Interviewer "So what led to you beginning the Men's Fire Circle David?"

"It was after I turned fifty. It was a rather notable landmark and in the days following I found myself reassessing life, and one of the issues I was contemplating that really captured my attention was the way in which I wasn't satisfied with the spiritual leadership to be had in my culture as it is today. It appears to be that our spiritual establishments have given up the majority of their moral authority, and then I found myself imagining exactly what my life would probably be like if I inhabited a tribal society where individuals saw themselves as part of a tribe ... It was about then that I had this epiphany "You've now turned fifty Dave, that means you are now an elder, so exactly what are you planning to do about it, cry like a baby or step up, be a leader and be part of the solution."

"That notion certainly made me sit up and take notice and in the following few days I chose to set up a Mens group based on the old classical tribal values of Men collecting around fire to focus on men's business, and the inspiration for the Mens Fire Circle was born."

Interviewer: "Why did you opt for a circle to support men specifically, why not just a circle for anyone?"

"That's an interesting point. At the time I felt a clear drive to look in the direction of tribal cultures for my approach. I wanted to return to something closer to nature, also it appeared to me that in tribal societies there was a real emphasis placed on coming of age ceremonies and an awareness of both the a variety of needs, as well as roles in connection with each of the sexes. Additionally I understood that if in their experience, tribal leaders had indeed seen value in men and women convening by their specific gender to talk about and also shed light for each other through the trials and tribulations common to their own gender, so I concluded, it would be a good intention for the group I get going to be guided by their leadership also."

Interviewer: "Just how have you ascertained the gender targeted framework to go, is it of value or do you miss the counterbalance of the female aspect?"

"Initially I was uncertain about this, yet paradoxically, what I have actually observed is that it tends to be easier for guys to get in contact with the feminine aspect of themselves in circle if women are not there. I expect that there are 2 factors contributing to this occurrence. One is that, often men desire to verbalize dilemmas they're having with their intimate partnerships, and doing that just with their own gender appears to offer them a bit more liberty to contribute freely and candidly regarding the way they really feel with respect to 'the lady' in their lives. I think they acknowledge that other men can grasp their challenges a lot better. Possibly it's because we have actually all been accorded with comparable cultural conditioning, so we are functioning from the very same expectations.

The other point is, when the circle is all males, it minimises any sex-related interferences. There's no tussling for the interest of the females, no attempt to "make it" with the other sex. With any type of potential sex-related diversions put to the side, this seems to enable everyone to be more honest."

The Men's Fire Circle convenes in the evening on the 4th Tuesday each month, in Greensborough, a suburban area of Melbourne, in Victoria, Australia. You can easily find the groups website which has all the details of upcoming events, and also the option of subscribing for e-mail alerts of the events, below: http://www.meetup.com/Mens-Fire-Circle-Greensborough-Victoria/

Feelings Vs. Emotions

Human emotions can be quite challenging to explain in a nutshell. They are so diverse that they cannot be contained in words or paragraphs. Human emotions are complex matters and impulses that you need to categorize properly, so people can understand what they are. A perfect example are feelings and emotions - two things that seem interchangeable in usage, but actually have different meanings.

Emotions occur in the brain, particularly in the ventromedial cortices and in the amygdala. These emotions trigger physical reactions in your body; hence, emotions aren't merely felt on the inside. They can manifest physically as well. Emotions have helped humans survive threats and attacks, and cope in the environment. They are embedded in our genes and may vary from one person to another.

The amygdala makes it possible for you to get emotional arousal and trigger memories that may last for a while. Emotions happen before feelings do, and they are the precursors to other physical reactions. Emotions are categorized into five types - sensations, reflexes, conceptions, voluntary expressions and involuntary expressions. Emotions are also caused by instinct, thus, you can see them in facial expressions, bodily reactions and brain activities.

Feelings, in contrast, occur in the neocortical region of your brain. They are not physical reactions, but are mental associations of your emotional reactions. They are subjective because they are triggered by memories and personal experiences. Feelings also vary, but instead of being explained or limited to science, feelings may not be contained into a set reaction. You cant measure them because they are largely stored in your subconscious.

Feelings are merely mental experiences, and may not have the same effects on people. Because they are subjective, one person may feel something that another person cannot. When watching a movie, you will see that people respond differently to what they see. A supposedly funny scene may not make everybody laugh because these viewers have totally different experiences.

In contrast, emotions are more general and applicable to many. A scene where a person is killed SHOULD trigger almost the same set of emotions: fear and horror. A person who laughs at a gruesome decapitation is incapable of analyzing emotions and connecting them to his personal experiences and beliefs (feelings). Suffice it to say that these people may be suffering from a psychological problem.

One thing is for sure, however, feelings and emotions should be dealt with. It is important that you know and you are in touch with what you are feeling and experiencing because they help you interact with people, here in my blog there is an emotions list that will give you clarity.

Hypnosis Techniques For Confidence

Do you need to make a turnaround in your life? This is not impossible. Be more positive, more relaxed and calmer with the use of hypnosis for confidence. Here are some of the techniques experts teach their students.

Enlarging ones set of possibilities The problem with some people is that they have limited possibilities. Their physical and mental health difficulties are a result of an inflexible mindset. The solution to this dilemma is to enlarge the persons possibilities. To achieve this, he should be taught how to break his own rules and accept new rules. His old inhibitions and prohibitions must be changed.

An athlete might say Oh, I cant perform well when the wind is strong… or This track is too difficult for me to handle… During hypnosis, this person can break his thought pattern by repeatedly claiming that the wind cant beat me or I am at my best no matter what the track is.

Prescribing the symptom In this confidence-building technique, the negative behavior is reinforced by making the person repeat the behavior until he finds it to be of less value or having no value at all.

This is easy to do. If you are an inveterate smoker and you have low self-esteem because of it, what you can do is get ready with several sticks of cigarette, all of which you will consume one after the other. You will come to a point where you will be ready to scream this is enough. Perform this exercise daily until the habit becomes insignificant or no longer desirable.

Utilization principle Another method experts employ for improving the self-image of their clients through hypnosis is utilization principle. For this, the hypnotherapist makes use of the patients behaviors and resources, which may include resistance.

A patient, who is obsessive-compulsive and cant stop himself from anxious pacing, can be told to pace for as long as he wants, but the direction of the pacing will be dictated by the therapist. The patient will be told to go to the right, to the left, backward and forward.

After twenty or thirty minutes, the patient will naturally get tired. At this point, his defense mechanism will have been worn out by the commands. He will comply with whatever order will be given him. Believe that you can do something to overcome your fear, anxiety, confusion, anger, disappointment and self-doubt. Smash the negative thought patterns. Look at the bright side of life.