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How I Became A Loving Person After Focusing On My Personal Growth



It's so easy to get caught up in the pity party of life. Blaming others for your pain and sorrow and dwelling on the negative. At some point, however, most of us have had enough.

I was tired of being negative and focusing on my pain. I wanted to recover my happiness and happy outlook on life. I decided to go to an astrologer recommended by a trusted friend who assured me that she had gone to many astrologers over the years and this one was the best astrologer for me.

My astrology reading revealed that my gifts were many and I wanted to share them with others. I didn't want to mope around any longer. I started by letting go.

My astrologer explained the planetary influences I was under and that the transits of Uranus, Saturn and Pluto meant it was time for big changes. I wanted to move forward with my life and letting go was vital to this step. I had to let go of my past, of my expectations, and of my pain. Wow so much packed into a circle of symbols in my astrology world chart.

I had to forgive those who had harmed me in my past and stop dwelling on the hatred that was beginning to consume me.

Once this was done (and it took me a few weeks to let go of it and not return to it), I was ready to move forward. I began by focusing on one good thing every day.

It didn't have to be huge. Just one simple thing that was good about my day was sufficient. Each day I focused on one good thing, and the next day, I added in another thing that was good.

By the end of the first week, I had a long list of things to be grateful and thankful for. These good things helped me to refocus and dwell on the positive.

Now I was ready to move forward. I could now walk into a room and smile and mean it. I wasn't consumed by my past. I wasn't consumed by pain and sorrow of what should have been.

I was now me. Just me. As I returned to me, I was able to exude positive attitude wherever I went.

The more I smiled and meant it, the more loving I became and the more people responded in kind. I soon found that the more positive and loving I was, the more positive and loving others were to me.

This was working very well. By now, I was happy and focused on making others happy. No more hanging my head and feeling down on myself. No more anger at traffic or others who were just as frustrated as I was. Letting go of the past, of the pain and sorrow made me a more loving person. I am so grateful I listened to my intuition and was able to listen to what the astrologer had to say. It encouraged me to do what was in my heart.

How To Become More Confident And Improve Your Self Esteem For Kids

Over the last decade, low self-esteem for children and teenagers is growing extremely fast. If you are like most parents, what you want more for your kids is self-confidence. They will tell you that academic and athletic come 2nd on their wish list. Without self-confidence, it is extremely hard for children and teenagers to achieve any goals, resist peer pressure and deal with adversity. Ultimately, without confianza en si mismo, it will affect their overall happiness and career success directly.

How can you help? The most important part of your job as a parent is to provide love and affection every day. All children and teenagers will benefit as they feel love by their parents. It is important that you realize that love and affection alone it is not enough to build their self-confidence. They need two more ingredients to help them achieve self-confidence. They need People Skills and Character.

A lot of people think that either you have people skill, or you dont. That could not be further from the truth. If you did a survey and interviewed people with an without skills, you would find that the main difference is the way they were raised. People skill is certainly tough to learn if you dont learn it at a young age. That is why you should start with your children as soon as you can. Start with the basic technique. Teach them how to greet people, to look people in the eyes. When they become a teenager, you should add a firm handshake to what they should do. Teaching them how to listen well and not to be afraid to ask questions will also be a good for them. There have been many studies done that show people skills represent 75% of their success vs. 25% is technical knowledge. Dont diminish the importance of your children learning math, read and writing but the emphasizing on their people skills will go a long way towards their overall happiness and career success.

Developing character is an incredibly hard thing to do. It takes a lot of commitment to teaching it, be accountable for it. This is the second item your children and teenagers will need in life. Start as young as you can to teach them about integrity. Being honest can only bring good things for them. Teach how to behave in todays society. What is accepted and what is not. Knowing that will help them both on a personal level and later in life, on a professional level.

Why is it that more and more children and teenagers lack people skills and character today? It is mainly due to 3 areas. Today's technology, the pop culture, and academics emphasis are the main reasons. The technology today, having access to emails, text messaging, cell phones, video games create a void in personal human contact which you can only improve by meeting people face to face. If you look at movies, cartoons, music videos and how it affects our children and teenagers, you will understand why it is another reason why people lack people skills. With the rude gestures and expressions use today. It teaches our kids to behave the same way. It makes our jobs as parents much harder. Also, in today schools system, the emphasis in on academics. They o not believe people skills and character are priorities, and therefore they do not focus on it.

There are many thigs you can do to help your children and teenagers to build their people skills and character. You should emphasize the importance of people skills before they interact with others. It could be on the way to school, to visit family or friends, etc. Re-emphasizing greeting, eye contact, and a firm handshake every time. Next, be a good role model. Remember, your children are always watching and listening so you should always act the part. Last, look for third party help, children, especially teenagers can tune you out so if you can find material, books, CDs, DVDs, that way they can teach themselves as they become an adult.

Todays generation is not learning people skills or character development. We do not hesitate to get help for our children for any other subject. So lets remember what will ultimately help our children and priorities correctly, so our kids and teenagers never suffer from low self-esteem.

Feelings Vs. Emotions

Human emotions can be quite challenging to explain in a nutshell. They are so diverse that they cannot be contained in words or paragraphs. Human emotions are complex matters and impulses that you need to categorize properly, so people can understand what they are. A perfect example are feelings and emotions - two things that seem interchangeable in usage, but actually have different meanings.

Emotions occur in the brain, particularly in the ventromedial cortices and in the amygdala. These emotions trigger physical reactions in your body; hence, emotions aren't merely felt on the inside. They can manifest physically as well. Emotions have helped humans survive threats and attacks, and cope in the environment. They are embedded in our genes and may vary from one person to another.

The amygdala makes it possible for you to get emotional arousal and trigger memories that may last for a while. Emotions happen before feelings do, and they are the precursors to other physical reactions. Emotions are categorized into five types - sensations, reflexes, conceptions, voluntary expressions and involuntary expressions. Emotions are also caused by instinct, thus, you can see them in facial expressions, bodily reactions and brain activities.

Feelings, in contrast, occur in the neocortical region of your brain. They are not physical reactions, but are mental associations of your emotional reactions. They are subjective because they are triggered by memories and personal experiences. Feelings also vary, but instead of being explained or limited to science, feelings may not be contained into a set reaction. You cant measure them because they are largely stored in your subconscious.

Feelings are merely mental experiences, and may not have the same effects on people. Because they are subjective, one person may feel something that another person cannot. When watching a movie, you will see that people respond differently to what they see. A supposedly funny scene may not make everybody laugh because these viewers have totally different experiences.

In contrast, emotions are more general and applicable to many. A scene where a person is killed SHOULD trigger almost the same set of emotions: fear and horror. A person who laughs at a gruesome decapitation is incapable of analyzing emotions and connecting them to his personal experiences and beliefs (feelings). Suffice it to say that these people may be suffering from a psychological problem.

One thing is for sure, however, feelings and emotions should be dealt with. It is important that you know and you are in touch with what you are feeling and experiencing because they help you interact with people, here in my blog there is an emotions list that will give you clarity.

Hypnosis Techniques For Confidence

Do you need to make a turnaround in your life? This is not impossible. Be more positive, more relaxed and calmer with the use of hypnosis for confidence. Here are some of the techniques experts teach their students.

Enlarging ones set of possibilities The problem with some people is that they have limited possibilities. Their physical and mental health difficulties are a result of an inflexible mindset. The solution to this dilemma is to enlarge the persons possibilities. To achieve this, he should be taught how to break his own rules and accept new rules. His old inhibitions and prohibitions must be changed.

An athlete might say Oh, I cant perform well when the wind is strong… or This track is too difficult for me to handle… During hypnosis, this person can break his thought pattern by repeatedly claiming that the wind cant beat me or I am at my best no matter what the track is.

Prescribing the symptom In this confidence-building technique, the negative behavior is reinforced by making the person repeat the behavior until he finds it to be of less value or having no value at all.

This is easy to do. If you are an inveterate smoker and you have low self-esteem because of it, what you can do is get ready with several sticks of cigarette, all of which you will consume one after the other. You will come to a point where you will be ready to scream this is enough. Perform this exercise daily until the habit becomes insignificant or no longer desirable.

Utilization principle Another method experts employ for improving the self-image of their clients through hypnosis is utilization principle. For this, the hypnotherapist makes use of the patients behaviors and resources, which may include resistance.

A patient, who is obsessive-compulsive and cant stop himself from anxious pacing, can be told to pace for as long as he wants, but the direction of the pacing will be dictated by the therapist. The patient will be told to go to the right, to the left, backward and forward.

After twenty or thirty minutes, the patient will naturally get tired. At this point, his defense mechanism will have been worn out by the commands. He will comply with whatever order will be given him. Believe that you can do something to overcome your fear, anxiety, confusion, anger, disappointment and self-doubt. Smash the negative thought patterns. Look at the bright side of life.

How Stress Is Manifested In The Body

It is a well known fact that stress is something that is not only being caused from any physical condition. It should then be known that stress is also a state of mind that every time you think of something unfavorable or something that would cause you burden, it would immediately cause you to be stressed mentally.

Indeed, stress is a serious condition in the mind that is brought about by your incessant worry or hesitation. However, it is not just only a state of mind that you may just easily brush aside. Stress can be very grave and serious that it will cause you some serious mental and psychological breakdown. Thus, in order to avoid such a condition, one should be able to deal with stress not only as a mere state of mind, it must also be something that you have to take immediate action in order to address such a problem.

Why stress may be caused by the mind?

Once you have thought of something that makes you burdened, such as paying bills, your body sends off hormones and chemical substances that will trigger your brain to declare a state of emergency. This is the time in which you would already feel panicked and alarmed. In a way, your mind is sending a signal that your body is in an emergency state.

In effect, the body will also experience unfavorable conditions brought about by stress. The body may feel headaches, shoulder pains, teeth grinding, nervous tremors and any other physical signs depending on the persons ability to cope with stress. See, when the body is a state of emergency, stress is actually being used an adrenaline in order for you to fight danger or help you escape should you are in an actual physical danger.

That is how magnificent our body works.

However, in this case, since there is no physical danger involved here only the mind that simply scares us, then the presence of stress will just simply drain the body into experiencing such body conditions. Unfortunately, these body conditions may have been avoided and stopped if the proper stress management tips have been done.

Indeed, stress can cause our body to experience bad conditions. Whenever we feel stressed, it is best that we have to control it by employing the best strategies and techniques to lower the level of stress that is present in our body.

Know The Various Techniques In Building Rapport For Nlp

NLP is an acronym for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It is an effective method of learning in which it makes use of your thought process to alter your behavior and influence how you see things in a general manner. Now if we dig deeper on the theories and applications used in NLP, one would be able to realize that there are a number of crucial elements and factors that are associated in the NLP method. These elements are considered to be vitally important in order to ensure that NLP will be effectively carried out.

One of the basic premises in NLP is communication. It is indeed very crucial that for an NLP method to take place, there has to be communication. And when we talk of communication, we simply deal with the give and take relationship of both the speaker and the listener. Thus, communication should be perfected in order for NLP to take place.

However, in the communication process, it may only be rendered useless and ineffective without this one component and that is the building of rapport. Thus, rapport building is technically the primary step to a successful communication process for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

Techniques in Rapport Building:

The following should be your key steps for you to successfully build rapport. Establish a genuine interest in the person or in the subject matter

One would not be able to successfully establish good rapport if the other party notices your lack of interest. This might give him the impression that you are not eager to interact with him. Thus, this will deter him from opening up more.

Make an effort to harmonize verbally and vocally

This allows you to get in tune with the same level of interest, tone of voice and the rate of speech with the person that you are interacting with.

Process the information when acquired

During the first two steps, you are therefore in the process of acquiring relevant information from the person you are interacting with. One should always be able to process such information for you to be able to understand his ideas or point of view.

Be familiar with the VAK system

One should know this because a person varies as to how he learns based on the VAK system. He may be Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic. Be keen on this and one must know which system to capitalize so that you will be able to interact with the person a more ideal manner.

Be conscious to your body language.

This is the part in which you have to show rapport through your body language. Your body language speaks louder than your words so you have to employ a more favorable body language.